Paper Clip Dolls: Project Monarch, MK-ULTRA, Mind Control and Project Paperclipby Annie McKenna |
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Healing from the Horror - Mind control survivor finds healing after the walls of amnesia come tumbling downIn 1977 when I was in my late 20s and leaving my second marriage, I decided there might be a problem with me. That's when I began therapy and learned to deal with issues such as properly expressing anger, not being so defensive, and why I was so afraid of my father. I married my current husband (we've been married since 1980) and continued in therapy to help improve my relationship skills. I came very close to getting my memories back around 1990 because of a series of nightmares I had about my father. Instead of the memories, though, I made a startling emotional discovery about myself that I thought was the answer to my fear of my father. That discovery made me think I was "cured." In other words, I shut down and rejected further therapy. In 1996 I decided I was going to write a novel - a love story with a psychological twist. The main character was going to have my emotions and the story was going to reflect how a woman with a history of abuse in her background has to struggle to make a relationship work. That was supposed to be the only similarity between the book and reality. When I say abuse, at the time, I consciously only knew of the constant emotional abuse and some physical abuse I had endured from my father. On Dec. 11, 1997, about three months after the first memory, someone in my support group sent information about Project Monarch. As soon as I read it, I knew that's what had happened to me. I finally understood what my scrapbook images were trying to tell me. From that point on my life was totally changed. I also felt that my life had been completely shattered. I had to totally disregard my own personal belief system to accept what had happened to me. To believe I had been a victim of mind control, to believe that my father had placed me in a program that intentionally caused a child to produce multiple personalities, to believe there were people in the world who could carry on this kind of torture to create a Manchurian Candidate in the name of national security meant giving up my belief that "all people are basically good," meant giving up "happily ever after," meant believing my father had sold his soul to the government and had turned over his daughter to this evil. It is truly devastating. PROJECT MONARCH Basically, Project Monarch was a government/Illuminati mind control program that involved numerous military and intelligence agencies, the Paperclip Nazis, and various prominent individuals and politicians. I also believe this program (regardless of its current name) is still active. Operation Paperclip began in 1945 and was stopped in 1957 when West Germany complained that the U.S. had robbed Germany of its "scientific skills." It involved the U.S. ushering Nazis into the country who were valued for their knowledge of rocketry and the medical knowledge (a rather ironic term) gained from the experiments at the concentration camps. One of the criteria for being a Nazi under Hitler's regime was worshipping Satan. The Nazi's didn't leave their belief systems behind. Project Monarch was a combination of ritual abuse and mind control. The ritual abuse served two purposes. First, it exposed a child to horrific trauma which caused the child to dissociate and create alters. Secondly, the belief was that if we ever did remember, the ritual abuse memories would surface first and the medical community and public would label us insane. I was born at Aberdeen Proving Grounds in Maryland in 1952 where my father was an instructor at the time. Aberdeen Proving Grounds is the world headquarters for U.S. Army intelligence. Aberdeen was also one of the stopover points for Paperclip Nazis. It's not difficult to conceive that a number of Nazis remained at Aberdeen since that was also the site of Edgewood Arsenal where many of the biochemical warfare experiments were carried out. The most insidious part of Project Monarch was that it's objective was to create a child with multiple personalities. So not only was it devastating to learn I was a multiple, I had to absorb the shock of learning that I was intentionally made a multiple. And the only way a child will dissociate to the point of creating alters is through severe trauma. Except for a few memories, I can't tell you exactly how I was programmed. But I know I was taken all over the country and even overseas for programming. I was taken to military bases and high-tech research facilities including those that were part of universities. Most, if not all, of the universities I remember are ones that had received MK-Ultra funding--and that included Canada. I was taken to several locations in Canada between 1957 and 1964. I specifically have memories of Ewen Cameron and the Allan Memorial Institute. Both were implicated in a lawsuit filed by adult Canadian victims against the CIA and presented in a Canadian made-for-television documentary, In the Sleep Room. It's interesting that the U.S. purchased the rights to the show but it was never aired in our country. The United States has a history of covering up human experimentation. Just look at the hearings that were held regarding the Human Radiation Experiments on unwitting victims, the Tuskeegee experiments, and the Gulf War Syndrome (as well as the lesser known chem trails and AIDS atrocity). Declassified documents show our own military has released viruses over U.S. populations to see what the impact would be. Unfortunately, history also shows our government doesn't own up to its transgressions for at least 40 to 50 years after the harm is done. In 1977 the U.S. held Senate investigative hearings which disclosed the abuses by the government through MK-Ultra. But very few Americans even know of its existence because of media control. The cover up goes something like this. The American Psychiatric Association received funding through MK-Ultra for at least one of its projects. Ewen Cameron, who was the former head of the Quebec Psychiatric Association, the Canadian Psychiatric Association, and the World Psychiatric Association, received funding directly by the CIA through MK-Ultra, the Human Ecology Foundation which was a CIA front organization, and also through the Canadian government. So both the U.S. and Canadian psychiatric associations were involved in mind control experimentation in the 1960s. But the U.S. government still conceals its mind control records and in fact has destroyed most if not all of its records by now. They have labeled victims of their abuse as mentally ill which shows rather directly that the U.S. abuses its psychiatric system in much the same way we accused the Soviet Union and Cuba of abusing their psychiatric systems. And while my country continues to deny the existence of cults, they are proliferating and are nothing more than covers for pedophiles, kiddie porn activities, drug trafficking, prostitution, and a government gold mine of young minds to mold. I would say to parents, be sure you know your child's soccer coach, scout leader, best friend's parents, and anyone else your child admires. I know there are many good people out there, but the fact is pedophiles and those involved in the cults are usually in positions where they have access to young children. ASSASSIN TRAINING How do you teach a child to be an assassin? It's very easy. You use double binds and impossible choices. My first memory of this type of training was when I was three years old in Germany. I was given a hammer and was asked to smash a rat's head. I can still hear the thick German accent telling me how ugly rats were and they deserved to die. When I wouldn't do it, my memory flashed to the Nazi holding a bunny, petting it, saying how cute the bunny was. If I didn't kill the rat, he was going to keep killing cute little bunnies. He then killed the bunny with the hammer to prove he wasn't lying. I killed a rat. Then I was made to feel guilty because I could have saved the bunny if I had followed his instructions sooner. A child will kill to save another. I graduated from animals to humans at least by the time I was in grade school. One question I keep asking myself is how many people were killed so they could train one Manchurian Candidate. This leads me to something about healing that I think is very important. When I first began to remember what I was trained to do, I could barely deal with the guilt that I had harmed...killed other people. It was one thing that they tortured me, but it was an entirely different story that I harmed others. Spencer, my internal guide, explained to me that if I didn't get past the guilt, I would never heal. He also explained that I had no choice. It was not my will. If given the choice--and if they had allowed me my choice--I would have taken my own life. But they didn't allow that and the victims would have been killed regardless. There were groups of individuals called "expendables". They were the orphans no one would miss, children born into cults and under the mind control program that no one knew about, and prisoners--people who were their terminal medical experiments and ritual sacrifices. And I was reminded that I did save every one of them because I internalized them as alters. That's how a child who is a multiple saves victims. The victims become alters who live on inside the child. That coping mechanism to the perps was just another way to produce alters. TORTURE & HEALING Torture is a difficult word for me to use. For a long time, I just called it programming because it was easier for me to deal with. But it included electroshock both as punishment and memory erasure. Sensory deprivation is when I was placed in a box or other container without light, sound, or touch in a terrifying setting to cause dissociation. I have many memories of coffins and graves. Sometimes snakes or spiders would be placed in the container with me and I would not be allowed to move or make any noise without electrical punishment. That's how they conditioned my alters not to be afraid. I was also drugged, sexually abused to include being used in kiddie porn and snuff films, and subjected to methods of degradation and humiliation designed to strip me of my sense of self. I recall flashing lights, being hung upside down to disorient me, having guns held to my head and hearing the click of an empty chamber, and constantly being subjected to emotional blackmail if I would ever tell of the abuse should I remember it. How did I remember these kinds of details? By using scrapbook therapy. Because mind control victims are so heavily programmed with staying silent under threat of physical harm to themselves and others and/or told they will automatically commit suicide if they try to tell, when many survivors start to remember, they are terrified to seek help. Paperclip Dollsby Annie McKenna If you are familiar with the movie Conspiracy Theory, imagine a story that goes behind the scenes to the character played by Mel Gibson (Jerry)-to his childhood as an unwitting subject in the CIA's top secret project, MK-Ultra. PAPERCLIP DOLLS, would tell you how Jerry most likely became the paranoid adult unable to remember his past and obsessed with government conspiracies. PAPERCLIP DOLLS might be described as a psychothriller involving covert government operations, mind control experimentation with children, Nazi scientists who were ushered clandestinely into the United States following World War II (Operation Paperclip), and a bizarre plot to develop the ultimate secret weapon, a Manchurian Candidate-a spy/assassin/courier who would not remember his or her deeds. The story, however, is nonfiction. It's the account of a woman who, at age 44, not only begins to remember a childhood she never knew existed, but also realizes she has multiple personalities as a result of her childhood trauma. She must learn to deal with the horrific memories while adjusting to the miraculous way her brain works and has protected her for years. PAPERCLIP DOLLS is Annie McKenna's story about healing from the horror of being placed into a government program known to her as Project Monarch at birth by her father who was military intelligence. The book is her personal account as relayed through her journaling, supportive research, and other writings of exactly how her memories revealed themselves, their impact on her life, and how she was able to quickly understand and gain control of her multiplicity. It is a story about overcoming a most insidious type of child abuse-one that was sanctioned by our own government and which was made public in the 70s. What the public didn't know was that many of the unwitting subjects of mind control experiments, including the notorious MK-Ultra project, were children.
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